Bosom Buttons: Not a Friend to Mankind
The fashion rage for some women today is (false) modesty.
Appearing on the market with no predecessor whatsoever, the Bosom Button is a button (either made from pearls or Swarovski crystals) that is designed to “minimize” cleavage.
How ironic: the tight, breast-enhancing bra barely covered by a halter-top with a plunging neckline will now be fully-covered with a glorified safety pin.
I’m all about morals, standards, feminism, equality, all that jazz – but this is a bit over the top.
The vast majority of women these days look down upon their sexual prowess. The media slams Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears so often that most people think those attention (and real-life) whores reflect the standards and morals of the Average American Girl.
Nothing could be farther from the truth. Why must women judge themselves as either sluts or nuns and nothing in between?
Crotch-baring sluttiness on any given day is far different than wearing a sexy shirt that compliments your chesticles. Want to avoid your entire womanhood falling out of your shirt? Don’t buy skanky outfits that require 24-hour maintenance and fabric-twisting pins to be wore in public. Want empowerment? Be sexy and smart – a killer combination that’s far too rare these days.
My main gripe with the Bosom Buddy is that women actually think it’s a worthwhile purchase. Sure, if your nips are slipping out uncontrollably (good for us, bad for you), buckle up; but buying an expensive button ($12.00 or three for the laughable price of $25.00) only sold on the merits that it’s a trendy new item is a total f***ing joke. It’s women making money off women’s stupidity.
Buy a pack of safety pins (about 342,677 for $2.00) or bust.
In terms of showing skin, she is a geeks dream girl!
PHOTO: Her private moment caught on camera….
PHOTO: This is borderline illegal
Mind the gap [40 pics]
Please take it off…
Billy the Blind Kid in "Dumb and Dumber" 'MEMBA HIM?!
OMG, this should be illegal [Photos]
I think you have a perfectly shaped side bewb.
17 Things That Irritate Girls About Guys
I think there is something wrong with your shirt…
If you like girls in bikinis
18 Images You Won't Believe Aren't Photoshopped
Who Has Got the Luckiest Job in the Entire World?
Girls in the grass
Awkward celebrity yearbook photos (21 Photos)
This sexiness feels naughty...
God DAMN whoever came up with this retardedly gay idea. Looking at tats is one of my only daily pleasures in the newly hellish life that is my first job. Graduated in May, and noticed that chicks in the office like to tease with boob shots – if this new visual cockblock picks up as a certifiable trend, I will hate life more than I do now. Damn you conservatives…DAMN YOU!
You sound like a disgruntled, sex-deprived baby.
"retardedly gay idea"… and you just graduated from what? 8th grade? Grow up and get a girlfriend. At least she won't feel degraded when you stare at her tits all day.
Learn to read. It is not for halter tops or skimpy outfits. Hooked on Phonic!
hookedonphonics: I was more making a point out of covering up a sexy outfit with a "stylish," expensive button than saying what it is literally supposed to cover.
It's like "Hey ladies, be sexy and confident…then cover it up, you hoochie." Sold by women for women who ALWAYS have "wardrobe malfunctions." If you have a constant problem holding up your clothes, well…I don't know what to say.
Don't be embarrassed of your womanhood, ladies. Now, anybody down for a mani-pedi?
Thanks for the link I just bought some!
Haha ha! $12 is expensive? Wow, you're CHEAP!
If you don't have knockers yourself, you won't ever know what it is like to have a shirt that fit perfectly when you tried it on in the store gape open all day at its leisure AT THE OFFICE and at embarrassing moments.
Nothing looks more low-rent than a safety pin to keep your shirt from gapping or your buttons from slipping. Sure, it works in a pinch, but it's not really the optimum solution.
It's not stupidity, it's necessity! Who cares if it is cheaper to use a safety pin? People spend ridiculous amounts of money on way more useless items!
You are such a dumb ass. We cover up just for pervs like you! If you happen to know Josh from UMASS Lowell..Ladies buy these in bulk!!!!
I think this is a great invention! Wish I thought of it:)
Your point is well taken, but the Bosom Button is not out to label women, only to accessorize them in a trendy way. Fashion conscious women come in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes fashions will fit in all areas with the exception of one small place that might need a little help. It's always better to have a piece of jewelry for everyone to admire, than to have a safety pin pop open at an inopportune time, and have everybody wonder why you're screeching "OUCH!"
I guess you're not a transvestite, huh? Then you'd know what getting stuck with a safety pin feels like. Ha ha ha
Boobies!
I think it's a great invention, because surprise surprise, it's not always appropriate to show a lot of cleavage. Just because I don't want my boobs hanging out of my shirt doesn't mean I hate my body and think cleavage is slutty. It makes perfect sense: you wear a shirt to work, in the more conservative, "bosom button" mode, and then you take out the button and voila! Insta-cleavage for the night ahead!
I just don't think you can understand unless you've had boobs and had a few unfortunate slips.
Here's a novel idea: Buy clothes that fit! If you have huge knockers, guess what; You don't get to wear low cut blouses, unless you want them stared at! Same goes for big asses and spandex. It's not rocket science. Believe me, if you've got huge breasts – so huge that you can't wear something low cut, without them falling out, then it's not going to matter if you pin those puppies in. Newsflash: We're going to stare at them anyway!
LOL at all the guys getting worked up!
You and your male commenters have proven the point as to why these are necessary.
It's ingenius and I'll be ordering some myself. Just because you can't go 30 seconds without thinking with your pecker, doesn't mean it's okay to gaze at our chest all the time.