The Dorm Pregame: Do It Right

Ah, dorm life. What a beautiful time.

The shower shoes, the sloppy Friday nights, the obnoxious girls down the hall that think it’s cute to blast LFO’s “Summer Girlsâ€? for the whole building to hear. It’s such an important era in your four years of fabulous.

So what do you do when you’re stuck with an anal RA whose mistaken his handbook of proper conduct as an FBI badge? Well throw a bangin’ dorm pregame, duh!

There’s definitely certain factors that make for a successful in-dorm pregame, and here we’ve mapped them out for you. No need to thank me, I find it my duty as a wise college sophomore. (Haha)

1. Get off AIM you computer-addicted fool. If they’re not already in your room eager to get down & dirty with a bottle of tequila, they’re not worth your time. Which leads me to #2…

2. Don’t worry so much about plans. Go where the wind blows you. You act like this is not college, where there’s presumably a bumpin’ party just a short stumble away. The best nights are those left unplanned. Don’t fret over busted parties and broken plans. It’s all part of the ride, throw your hands in the air and yell. (Just try hard not to puke.)

3. Allow randoms to join for enhanced fun. Once you’ve got your buzz on there’s nothing wrong with yelling out your window at that cute passerby to come on up and join the festivities. Sure it’s a bit obnoxious and yeah, she could be like ‘Uh, no thanks’ and run off but hell, you’re drunk who cares? Some of my best friends made were those random strangers I sloppily struck up conversations with. And if it backfires? Makes for a good hungover story.

4. Party proof. I have seen friendships crumble over accidental party fouls. I mean it was a Macbook Pro, that had a bit of a Miller shower, trust me, things can get ugly. Sure, you may think it’s just an innocent pregame… you obviously haven’t encountered the drunken beefcake down the hall with hands like baseball mitts. Graceful’s not the word.

5. Always keep a deck of cards. Instant pregame enhancement.

Nothing makes a party better than a decent pregame beforehand. And now that I have succeeded in the most alcoholic blog ever, I’m gonna go have a beer.

P.S. Don’t drink & drive, dammit.