It’s true that you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. But nowadays, book publishers are smart enough to avoid printing books with shitty covers. And as such, I feel perfectly justified judging someone’s MySpace profile within two seconds, using a few handy tips I’ve devised. Here are the red flags that’ll send me to the back button:

* Sparkly Pink. Everywhere.
* A picture of you with your boyfriend/other guy friend.
* The phrase “Proud Parentâ€? next to the Children? detail. Especially if you’re 19.
* Your astrological sign. In sparkly pink cursive. And a description about why Aquarius is so “it.â€?
* The phrase “click here to see my webcam.â€?
* The use of ێbarely recognized characters and squiggles in your display name. Yes, you just discovered Character Map. No, you don’t have to show off. No, you’re not impressing us.
* Low contrast color schemes. There’s a reason your newspaper isn’t printed with white ink. Look into that, would you?
* Animated GIFs. Seriously.
* Tiled backgrounds of your favorite boy band. With a matching music video.
* Misrepresentation of your age. No one wants you 14 year olds on here. Go back to Xanga, kthx.
* The word “clubbin’.â€?

That is all.

Initially we met in person in NY at the US OPEN…..Of course there was some attraction, but most definitely some apprehension from my part being that he was 30 years older than me…We had a great time that week. He went home to California, and I went home to Miami…We kept in touch (although very briefly) until we somehow rediscovered each other on millionairematch.com! So amazing.By that time, I had certainly reconsidered dating an older man. As a result, I realized that he was indeed my Prince Charming! My fairy tale has begun.