Finding the Perfect Boobies

A mans opinion on the female body differs from guy to guy. Some guys like legs, some guys like asses, some guys like boobies; some like all three. Some guys care about a girl’s eyes and smile – these men are known as gays in the straight community.

As a male who is sexually active throughout the community, I’ve seen all kinds of boobies and I have formed an opinion on what kind of titties are best. WOOooOOooOOoo for boobies!

I saw a set of lady bumps that were too big once. Some guys might say that titties can never get too big, but if they are floppy, they are not good. These knockers might have weighed like 9 pounds, and the girl wasn’t a fat smelly pig either, but her enormous bubblies were too big. If you run into a set of hooters that are overwhelming, make sure you convince the hoe so let you slide your willie in between those bad boys.

Some boobs are more like man pecs. Have you ever taken a girls shirt off expecting a nice set of tits and then think you are looking at yourself in the mirror. How do they do that? How do they make themselves look so damn busty and then all of a sudden you’re asking yourself if it’s gay to bang a chick who has smaller boobs than an 8 year old girl. It’s not right, or fair. We should be able to sue the chicks that show off cleavage but have those magic disappearing David Copperfield boobs.

Contrary to popular belief, the perfect bongos are not the handful. The perfect boob is bigger than a handful. How can you tell if you have the perfect tit in your hand? It’s not as simple as you would think, but I have developed a method that is fool proof. Touch the tit; if it feels like a big bag of sand…then you’re probably gonna have to call your boyfriend in the morning because you’re a gay. But in all seriousness, if you have to cup your hand and there is titty touching all parts of your hand, from your finger tips to the heal of your mit, then you have the perfect boob in your grasp. We won’t get into nipples because there isn’t enough time in the day.

My only advice to you would be to get out there and start feeling up on some boobies. Once you find the perfect set, you’ll know, and then you’ll see the light. You’ll be able to pick out the perfect hoots for the rest of your life, and you wont have to hook up with anymore chicks that lack an upstairs.

Boobs rock!