2007 VMAs: A Recap

Last night the 2007 MTV Video Music Awards proved that a large chunk of the entertainment world is ruled by talentless hacks.

From technical difficulties (did anybody sound-check anything beforehand?) to only showing snippets of live performances by music’s heavy-hitters at various locations around Las Vegas – Kanye, five-times snubbed out of awards last night, is reportedly through with the VMAs after his performance was butchered by execs – MTV has fully transformed into a Metric Ton of Visuals.

The highlights lowlights:

Britney’s show-opening, pace-making, stupefying, phoned-in performance of her single “Gimme More.” Even Spears’ super-fans were stunned by her carelessness. As for the “magic” of Criss Angel assisting Brit? Smoke and mirrors, I guess – just like Brit herself.

Sarah Silverman’s harsh put-downs of Brit left the room in a deep silence. F***ing everybody looked away when the camera panned to them after any of Silverman’s barbs towards Brit. Just one more example of celebs having all the money and power in the world and doing nothing short of saving face. Despicable.

Check out the video link (and more pics) of Brit’s performance after the jump.

R&B young-un Chris Brown danced around the stage and did the one-billionth Michael Jackson tribute in the past decade. Now riddle me this: considering Chris Brown lip-synched during his performance (shades of Britney) what’s the difference between him and his mega-talented group of backup dancers – his white shirt, denoting that he’s the star?

Rihanna, winner of Video of the Year and Monster Single of the Year, looked foxy. That is all.

Shia LeBouf looked like a dignified (albeit confused) young man when MTV’s crew didn’t inform him that the winner for Female Artist of the Year, Fergie (really?), wasn’t present. MTV must’ve fired over a dozen staffers yesterday alone.

Kid Rock and Tommy Lee’s scuffle outdid hip-hop’s reign over violence at the VMAs this year. In the words of Jamie Foxx: “Let’s stop all this white-on-white crime.”

The supposedly-super-talented Alicia Keys showed up to perform a mid-tempo dirge titled “No One,” featuring the bland line “everything’s gonna be all right.” Obviously not, former hype-monger. Adding insult to permanent injury was her rendition of George Michael’s “Freedom,” which was 100% mid-90’s VH1 flag-waving fodder.

Does anybody care anymore? Is anybody out there?

Just when the show was nosediving at record speed Justin Timberlake and Timbaland – will they form a duo named “Timbre” already? – showed up to pick up all the slack. Their attitudes and performances solidified what we already knew: they are bigger than MTV, therefore make their own rules. Hearing a former N’SYNC-er slam MTV for big-upping trash-TV like The Hills and not playing enough videos was by far the highlight of the night.

No worries, JT: according to this year’s VMA fiasco, pop will eat itself soon enough.