Brit’s Tracks Are Wack

Britney SpearsThe blog-universe has been giving the seal of approval to Britney’s leaked songs since early this week – have I been listening to the wrong ones?

These tracks are complete tripe. There is no way somebody with working eardrums can possibly give a “thumbs-upâ€? to Brit’s latest batch of bimbo-pop.

Even hipsters looking for their next bastion of irony will be thoroughly disappointed.

The three songs – “Gimme More,â€? “Cold as Fire,â€? “Baby Boyâ€? – each have flat, lifeless production left over from the last millennium. This major mistake could’ve been easily remedied with the right collaborators (hint, hint).

Check out Britney Spears’ new tracks after the jump.

But the main problem here, the one that really grinds my gears, is that Spears’ “playsâ€? troubled. HELLO – you are troubled, Miss crotch-baring, kid-neglecting Spears. I’d much rather have a pissy, anti-prissy, realistic, shaved-head version of Brit-pop (no, not the genre) over this shiny, fluffy, “sassy” triptych of garbage.

It’s not even fair to call these tracks pitiful, considering a lot of jaded people are championing her return – she’s pitied enough.

She had a chance at pop-redemption recently with JT and a few years back with James Murphy of LCD Soundsystem. Everybody has been in Spears’ corner, patiently waiting for the pop vixen to bash K-Fed and prove herself more-than-capable of handling her career.

With her monthly paycheck of $737,868 you would think Spears could afford some ears.

“Gimme More”

“Cold as Fire”

“Baby Boy”

Tell us what you're thinking by leaving a comment...




COVER STORY

COED’s Guide to Defeating The Cock-Blocking Roomate COED’s Guide to Defeating The Cock-Blocking Roomate

It’s happened to every college guy. You’re out drinking, you meet a nice girl,... 

Demotivational Mayhem: 226 Demotivational Posters Demotivational Mayhem: 226 Demotivational Posters

Everybody’s seen ‘em and unless you’re a cyborg (which you very well may be…)... 

South Park’s (Too Many Minorities) Not My Water Park [Video & Lyrics] South Park’s (Too Many Minorities) Not My Water Park [Video & Lyrics]

Out of the myriad of things wrong with today’s society, we need to thank Matt... 

Read More Posts From This Category

GIRLS

The 50 Sexiest Calendars of 2010 [Photos] The 50 Sexiest Calendars of 2010 [Photos]

Where the hell did this year go? 2009 blew by faster than Carrie Prejean’s... 

Ashley Greene and The Week That Was: November 16th – 20th Ashley Greene and The Week That Was: November 16th – 20th

Twilight super-hottie Ashley Greene joined the celebrity nudie picture club when... 

The 2009 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show & Afterparty (253 Photos) The 2009 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show & Afterparty (253 Photos)

If sexiness was flammable, NYC would have burned to the ground last night as the... 

Read More Posts From This Category
Hannah Hilton is Today’s Daily Snapshot

Hannah Hilton is Today’s Daily Snapshot

Busty, blond and bodaciously beautiful, 24-year-old Hannah Hilton has quickly become a household name – at least in households with dudes who watch a lot of porn. The former high school cheerleader and Dairy Queen employee first got her start in the nude modeling business after having photos of her online noticed by an agent in L.A. And before she knew it, she was a Penthouse Pet of the Month.</p