How Safe Are Those Drunk Rides Home?

“I’m only stopping in for one,â€? were always the last words I uttered on some of my biggest nights out. The second they escaped my lips, regardless of how much I meant it, I always ended up partying until at least 8 in the morning.

By COED Staff

I was lucky, and more times than not, made it back to my apartment in one piece—though getting my key into my askew lock was mission impossible most of the time. There were a few occasions I woke up in an unknown location (“ok, I do know you… but how did I get here?â€?).

On one of my worst homeward bound adventures, I decided it would be a wise idea to take the bus. I would save money by not taking a cab. The bus stop was right outside my apartment. It was daylight—why wouldn’t I use public transportation? I’ll tell you why.

I woke up half way across the city, with a wing to the bus all to myself. The second I opened my eyes, all I could smell was vodka and smoke—which kept people away from me and the surrounding seats open due to the vile smell seeping out of my pores. Though I knew what city I was in, I had never seen this area before in the three years I had lived there. I felt like I was going to vomit if I moved. I felt like I would do the same if I stayed on the bus. Rough, rough situation.

I eventually got off the bus, and into a cab, but due to my already bad French accent and the fact that my slurred speech was unintelligible, I ended up, again, in a different part of the city.

I finally called a friend who came and picked me up from a park bench, a Coca-Cola that I had managed to order from McDonalds in hand. “We should tape your address to your shirt, Katy. Then you could just point to where you need to go.â€? Haha. Wouldn’t that be funny?

Now, you can sorta actually do that. These silly cocktail napkins from Spoonsisters have a spot for you—or your more sober friends—to write your destination, and check where your cab driver can locate your money—anywhere from “in my sockâ€? to “in my bra.â€?

While I don’t know that I trust the friend that would stick me in a cab in such a poor state, I would find it amusing to find the information filled napkin wadded up in my hand the next morning.

Spoonsisters also offers a napkin for the shy girls who want to pick up that cute guy across the bar—these cocktail napkins have a place for name, sign, phone number, and possible first date ideas. Buy him a drink, and get the small talk out of the way before you even open your mouth!