Uncle Kracker Crumbles

Uncle Kracker

The latest case of a talentless musician getting arrested involves the redneck-rocker known as Uncle Kracker, forcible sexual offense, half-baked exit strategies and $5 million dollars. Whoo!

Unfortunately, itâs not as tasty as it sounds.

This whole story reeks of that celebrity standard, where an egocentric âartistâ? sells himself as a âbig dealâ? to a sexy female only to get rejected.

Things got ugly when Mr. Krackerâs ritzy lifestyle didnât impress the object of his desire. Being the sloppy dude he is, Mr. Cracker attempted to go for the woman’s cookie without permission. Cops were called, and Kracker was jacked at an Embassy Suites Hotel in North Carolina.

Bail was set at a whopping $5 million dollars, since anyone willing to bail a man named “Uncle Kracker” out of jail must be a complete moron with money to burn.

Seeing that his music career has been stagnant (read: over) for some time, the singer of “Follow Me” can now look forward to his cracker getting buttered-up.

COED Magazine

Uncle Kracker Crumbles

COVER STORY

GIRLS

Miss COED: Nicole Brewer

A Thanksgiving Wish From William S. Burroughs [VIDEO]

G4 Shreds Twilight…Again!

Did South Park Finally Go Too Far?

Daniella Sarahyba is Today’s Daily Snapshot

50 Famous People Who Have Taken A Bullet

Sexy Plumber’s Crack Attack [60 Photos]

What's Hot

coed magazine on digg

Comments		Posted in Entertainment, Music, News-ish
		Tags: arrested, bail, butter, cracker-jack, crackers, follow-me, jail, kid-rock, Music, ritz, Sex, uncle-kracker