A Pothead’s Guide to Avoiding Johnny Law

Cops, man. Always ruining our crazy, college fun – pulling us over on road trips, breaking up the parties, arresting our friends. Why, because we break the law and do illegal things? Pshhaa, whatever.Like NWA said, eff the police, right?!?

Right! There are in fact, many ways around the law, especially when it comes to doing the things we all know we do and we all know we enjoy doing – like smoking “doobiesâ€? (as I like to call them,) or eating pot brownies, or driving with naughty things in the car, or letting your friends pull you across the highway while you’re attached to a couch…..okay, that one’s just stupid and if you do this, you should definitely be arrested. Radar Online has an awesomely insightful look into the ins and outs of what to do and what not to do in order to escape and avoid the law altogether – written by Barry Cooper, an EX COP AND HEAD AGENT OF NARCOTICS for eight years in Texas!!!! What a kick ass guy!!!!

Cooper wrote the article because, he said, “The war on drugs is an utterly losing proposition. We caused more harm breaking up families to put non-violent drug offenders in jail than the drugs ever did. And for what? To eradicate 1/10th of a percent of drugs on the street.â€?

True dat, Barry. True dat.

Even cooler, his new DVD is all about how NOT to get busted by the pesky Po Po.

So what are the best ways to hide your stash? How should you properly handle getting pulled over? And how do you get around those party-pooping drug dogs who know more about narcotics and have access to more weed than we’ll ever have? Here are just some of Cooper’s helpful tips for all you bad, bad kids out there doing all sorts of bad, bad drugs and committing bad, bad evil sins. We know who you are……

- If you are going to travel with marijuana, place it in a non-contaminated container right before you leave. The drug odor won’t have time to permeate through the plastic. If you are handling pot at your house, wear latex gloves or wash your hands—marijuana dust can reside on your fingers, and dogs can smell it. You’d be surprised at how many people get busted when dogs start sniffing around car door handles.

- If you just have a joint on you and you get pulled over, put it in a straw, and throw the straw in a fast-food bag. Alternately, reach under the dashboard and place it in one of the numerous nooks and crannies you find. Don’t attempt to throw it out the window—it’s too obvious, and they’ll always find the joint.

- DO NOT put any of the following on your vehicle, they’re red flags: D.A.R.E. stickers, Jesus Fish, your Kappa Sig frat sticker, or Vietnam vet stickers.

- Travel with a cat. They make a good distraction for canines used in a search.

- If you get pulled over, DO NOT scratch your head, light a cigarette, or turn your palms up. All are telltale signs you are nervous and hiding something.

Wait, what am I saying? Drugs are BAD!! We shouldn’t be promoting this. You guys shouldn’t be doing this stuff in the first place. Shame on you. Tisk, tisk. I’m telling your parents. Go ahead if you must, you junior delinquents, take all the drugs you want and risk getting involved with the police. You know why?

Because there’s no hope…..with dope.