Drunk Astronauts Give New Meaning to AirSick Bags

In the wonderful world (bubble) of a college student, it seems very little can be accomplished without an adequate “pregameâ€? beforehand. It’s common to hear exchanges like,“Wanna go bowling tonight?â€?
“Dude yea! Let’s pregame!â€?

“We should go see that new horror flick guys.â€?
“Hell yea, but it’ll be ten times scarier if we smoke the herb first!â€?

“Putt Putt?â€?
“Tequila!â€?

So if anyone can understand why there has been an outbreak of drunk astronauts, college kids take the cake:

“Ready for take off?â€?
“We got a couple minutes, man. Finish the flaskâ€?

Hollywood never called dibs on juicy scandals, so NASA decided to join the fun. Controversy has broken out when a recently published article in an aviation mag exposed NASA for allegedly sending astronauts up into space whilst wasted. Yes, you read right, sloshed, hammered, intoxicated. Houston, we have a problem.

The media had a field day over Lohans’s beaming collection of DUI’s , so what about these suspected cases of LWI? (Launching While Intoxicated!) Well, NASA attorney claims it’s just another case of so-called, “spacial profiling.â€? Damn him for beating me to the punch, since I don’t think I could have ever come up with a more clever term. Explaining that astronauts are “differentâ€? than normal Americans, (???) Apollo attorney claimed that they were simply being discriminated against, feebly attempting to illegitimize the issue.

I mean, I guess it’s a good thing there’s not much they can bump into up there, but since when is launching a spaceship a good last stop for your weekend bender? Should NASA be worried that pretty soon, like in 10-9-8-7…sober liftoffs will become just as extinct as sober Friday nights in my freshman dorm?

Understandable, that NASA’s become a bit more lenient ever since Lance Bass decided he wanted to ride a rocket (I’m sorry, it was too easy) but this is a little much.

Sober up fellas! That’s one small whisky shot for man, one giant sloppy stumble for mankind, and an even bigger pain in NASA’s ass.

Tell us what you're thinking by leaving a comment...




COVER STORY

COED’s Guide to Defeating The Cock-Blocking Roomate COED’s Guide to Defeating The Cock-Blocking Roomate

It’s happened to every college guy. You’re out drinking, you meet a nice girl,... 

Demotivational Mayhem: 226 Demotivational Posters Demotivational Mayhem: 226 Demotivational Posters

Everybody’s seen ‘em and unless you’re a cyborg (which you very well may be…)... 

South Park’s (Too Many Minorities) Not My Water Park [Video & Lyrics] South Park’s (Too Many Minorities) Not My Water Park [Video & Lyrics]

Out of the myriad of things wrong with today’s society, we need to thank Matt... 

Read More Posts From This Category

GIRLS

The 50 Sexiest Calendars of 2010 [Photos] The 50 Sexiest Calendars of 2010 [Photos]

Where the hell did this year go? 2009 blew by faster than Carrie Prejean’s... 

Ashley Greene and The Week That Was: November 16th – 20th Ashley Greene and The Week That Was: November 16th – 20th

Twilight super-hottie Ashley Greene joined the celebrity nudie picture club when... 

The 2009 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show & Afterparty (253 Photos) The 2009 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show & Afterparty (253 Photos)

If sexiness was flammable, NYC would have burned to the ground last night as the... 

Read More Posts From This Category