Memories of SNICK

Do you ever get the urge to turn on Nickelodeon every now and then? Do you ever feel sorry for children nowadays? Where did the crazy game shows and green slime that we all knew and loved go? But more importantly, whatever happened to that block of TV that ruled our pre-pubescent years called SNICK?

SNICK, with its big orange couch, could always be relied upon to provide two hours of solid entertainment for many a guy before they moved on to greener pastures, like girls and beer. But for a time, let us remember SNICK and all its glory and let’s turn back the clock to the nineties and a simpler time.

SNICK made learning fun because we didn’t learn about boring shit like math; we learned valuable life lessons and they always started with Clarissa Explaining It All, especially how to sneak into a girl’s room with a ladder. SNICK also raised important issues. If it weren’t for SNICK and The Ren and Stimpy Show, a generation of children would not know the signs of homosexual-spousal abuse. Eat it Spongebob!

But I think SNICK’s most important contribution to the world is that it gave so many of us our first erections, thanks to one girl who could turn herself into a puddle of goo; Larissa Oleynik, otherwise known as Alex Mack. Whatever happened to Larissa? Hopefully Sarah Lawrence didn’t corrupt her.

I think its time for a SNICK edition of VH1’s Where Are They Now? Hopefully that will lead to new projects starring our favorite SNICK stars. Can you imagine a Larissa Oleynik spread in Maxim? Or a Midnight Society slasher movie? How about a Roundhouse DVD–does anybody remember that show?

We can only imagine what the SNICK stars of yesteryear are up to nowadays, but to us they will always be the stars on the big orange couch of our memories.