There's a little known, rare occurrence known as breaking one's penis. You're probably grabbing your crotch right now just thinking about it. Luckily, it's nearly impossible to do.

But just in case this one day happens to you, let's learn how the horrid pain occurs, shall we?

While there are no actual bones in the penis, there are two chambers of spongy tissue running along the inside called the corpova cavernosa (let's just refer to it as C.C.). An erection occurs when the muscles relax, causing blood to flow to the C.C. Then more technical stuff involving blood flow not escaping. But, all in all, this jargon basically means your penis is hard.

If your penis only consists of flesh and blood, how can it break?

Funny you should ask. If you thrust something that hard against something even harder, say a pubic bone or a headboard due to a poor miscalculation, the thick membrane around your C.C. can tear. You may hear a sound similar to a crack while quickly losing your erection. Your now extraordinarily painful and bruised penis may also bend to one side. Back to holding your crotch again?

If this ever occurs to you, get to a damn hospital. Upon immediate evaluation, surgery (yay, doctors!) can help you have erections once again as well as prevent possible permanent damage. Such aid may even put your penis back into its correct shape.

What have we learned from this makeshift anatomy lesson? Breaking your penis is extremely hard to do. Just don't thrust ridiculously hard, and all will be well.

Moving out on your own means more than just preparing your own meals (Easy Mac, anyone?) and cleaning your own shower (which tends to be a very gross job). It means being an adult, which is a nice way of saying 'supporting yourself.' For most, that is a very scary thought. After all, mom and dad have been footing the bills for years. But, fending for yourself doesn't have to be scary ' you just have to know where to start.

And where to start is with a budget.

You may think you can handle the money situation ' work, earn money, drink ' but there is a reason why so many college graduates are in debt: then spend more (a lot more!) than they make. And it isn't on large purchases like cars and fancy trips; it is the simple fact that people neglect to pay attention to their shriveling bank account as they go about their business. Budgeting ' and paying attention to your funds – is a must!

So, take a seat, grab a pen listen to the following tips:

1. Go for the monthly budget. Yearly is way too broad. Also, if you see your yearly income, you might think you have tons of money. When a budget is broken down month by month, it's easier to see what you actually have to spend. And, sometimes, it is not quite as much as you once thought.
2. Pay yourself first. Set aside a little money for your future each month. Why? You should get in the habit of saving for retirement. This money could also go toward a more immediate long-term goal like buying a car or taking a vacation.
3. Take care of the basics. That's Food, Home, and You. Food includes groceries and eating out. Home includes rent (that's probably where most of your budget money will go), but also utilities like electricity and an internet connection. You includes personal necessities. Note: personal necessities are things like shampoo and cleaning supplies not a big screen TV or weekly massages. If those are necessary in your life, it is especially important to budget the funds for them.
4. If your budget doesn't match how much you have to spend, it's time to revise your budget. What can you shave off? A lot of college students and recent grads lose a lot of money when they go out. Dining out is expensive, and drinks every night really add up. Consider saving money by inviting friends to your place for home-cooked dinner and a movie, or a BYOB party. If you don't make changes, debt will be in the very near future.
5. Random Expenses. Don't forget about one-time expenses like birthday presents or holidays gifts. Set aside a little money ' maybe just $5-10 a month for these types of purchases. Then hope that your friends and family return the favor when it comes time for you to receive gifts. Cash only, please!
6. If this is your first budget, overestimate how much you'll need. It's much better to be surprised by extra money than no money. When you create a budget for the first time, you're likely to forget about some expenses (did you remember quarters for laundry add up?) and you want to make sure you have enough to cover yourself.

7. Relax. Sticking to a budget is serious work. But with practice, it becomes easier to manage your money.

For more information on budgeting, check out The Debt Free Graduate by Murray Baker.

For those of you who prefer MTV to MSNBC, you might be surprised to know that a very important Election Day is rapidly approaching. Yes, while you were watching Date My Mom and Jackass, the rest of us have been saturated with political ads and election news on every channel. The political campaigning has been so overwhelming and annoying that I found myself watching Yo Mama just to avoid another commercial with some dude in a suit pushing his children on a swing. I mean, honestly ' Yo Mama?!

Unfortunately, this election isn't to choose a new president to take over the White House, (Note: the 'unfortunately' is my own personal opinion and may not reflect the views of everyone at CO-ED ' though it basically does), but it does mean that a new political party, the Democrats, could be taking over both the House of Representatives and the U.S. Senate.

Right now, the Republicans have control of both the executive branch and the legislative branch (the third branch, class, is the judicial branch, and the Supreme Court is in the Republicans' pocket, too). That gives the party a lock on doing whatever it basically has wanted to do for six years, ever since the Supreme Court crowned King George. And look what his reign has wrought: a ruinous occupation of Iraq; a budget deficit with no end in sight; the salacious scandal involving U.S. Representative Mark Foley's flirtations with congressional pages, a proclivity that Republican House leaders knew about but failed to act on; the administration's blocking of stem cell research and other socially and medically promising initiatives. It seems that no one wants to be anywhere near George Bush.

This is an important election. Many states have contested contests that could be won, for one party or the other, by a strong student turnout: Connecticut, Rhode Island, Virginia, Tennessee, Texas, New Jersey and a few others. For the first time since 1994, Democrats have the chance to take over the Senate and the House of Representatives, which can mean big changes in our policies: the minimum wage could rise; scientists could move forward with stem cell research; aid to us, college students; a withdrawal from Iraq. It could change dramatically. What does that mean for you?

It means you need to get out and vote.
And your excuses won't work on me.

1. 'I have to study': Ha! You are in college! No one studies. Plus, voting takes only a few minutes. If the line is long, bring your books with you. Not only will you be forced to study without any disruptions, but you will also be doing two good things at once: expanding your brain and contributing your voice to the future of our glorious nation.

2. 'I don't know anything about the candidates': Do some research. Watch the Daily Show. Turn on the news for 10 minutes and you will see commercials for every candidate. All you have to do is Google them and you will know more about them than you ever thought possible. Just ask voters in Tennessee who now know that one of the candidates allegedly takes money from porn producers. Rar!

3. 'I'm wasted': Dude, it's Tuesday. Put down the $3 margarita and get to an election booth. You really only have to stop drinking for the time it takes to vote ' then you can head right back to the bar to pour some for your homies in grand ol' America! How's that for Democracy?!

Seriously, Americans (especially students) take their right to vote for granted. We have the power to choose who runs our country, so get out there and take advantage of that power.

You probably know Artie Lange from The Howard Stern Show, Mad TV, Old School and Elf. This fall, the comedian has his first starring role in the movie Beer League, which is about ' well, softball and beer.

CO-ED: Didn't you go to Seton Hall?
Artie Lange: I went there from September 1985 to September 1985 [Editor's note: No, that's not a mistake]. I barely got out of high school ' I had to go to summer school to get out. [But] I was pretty good at baseball, and combined with the fact that my uncle knew a priest there who had some pull, I ended up sneaking in [to Seton Hall]. I was there for three weeks doing poorly and I hated it. Then my father fell off a roof and became paralyzed. That was my excuse to leave.

Tell me why we should see your movie.
Me and the kid who wrote it (Frank Sabastiano), we're both from New Jersey and play in a softball league. We always wanted to do our own f—in' rated-R softball movie. We got together five years ago in L.A. and said let's just tell our craziest softball stories and put them on index cards and try to structure it like a film. The whole team is alcoholics, and in the film, I live with my mom. Oh, and there's a great bachelor party scene with tits and ass.

Give us a drink you could recommend to college students.

It's very simple: Jack Daniels with water and a lot of ice.

What's that called?
Let's call it 'The Artie.' I've heard some people call it that before, but let's make it official.

Ahhhh. Fall. The leaves are changing, large puffy jackets are flooding lecture halls and Pumpkin Spiced lattes are back at Starbucks. It can all mean only two things: It is the perfect time to break out the hot cider and spiced rum, and Halloween is coming. And it is time for women to get slutty.

Halloween has a long and exciting history. Originally called All Hallows Eve, October 31st was a Catholic day of observance to honor the saints. In the 5th century BC, however, the Irish Celts began to celebrate October 31st as the official end of summer. According to their beliefs, the disembodied spirits of people who had died the previous year would come out on that night in search of a new body to possess. Not wanting that to happen, the Irish would dress up in ghoulish costumes and prance around the village, hoping to scare off the spirits.

Halloween today isn't much different. Just as the Irish used to dress up to scare off spirits of dead people, today college co-eds across the country dress up in hopes of finding someone to have sex with. The similarities are uncanny.

With Halloween only seven days away, I ' a strong willed and independent woman ' am forced to question the transformation of Halloween from a Catholic holiday to praise saints to its modern-day form of candy, condoms and Chlamydia.

Doesn't this Halloween tradition degrade women? Women devoted decades to raising their standing in society. We are finally out of the kitchen, running companies and leading nations. And what do modern-day women do with the torch they have been passed? Cover themselves in tight, sheer materials and sensually rub the wax of the torch all over their bodies. Rosie the Riveter (who can totally be skanked up for the ultimate in ironic Halloween attire) would be proud.

Why aren't men walking around in chaps and pleather thongs? Not that I really want to see that. I mean, I live in New York City; I already see it daily. But why can men dress up as football players, Scooby Doo or ghosts and no one judges them for it, but when I attempted to wear a shirt last year that covered my breasts, I was thrown out of a Halloween party ' at my own house!

Most importantly, does anyone else have a problem with not-so-skinny girls wearing not-so-much-clothing? Yes, a hot young college woman will look super sexy when she dresses up as a Slutty Nun, but her friend who had a fight with the freshman thirty and lost ' that Slutty Soccer Mom thing is really not working for her.

Hm. Maybe I am not the best advocate of women's rights. Whatever: My Slutty Dog Walker costume is definitely going to be turning heads. And fending off disembodied spirits. And, with a little luck and a whole lot of leg, getting me a date with Scooby Doo.

Hey, don't you ignore me. I own your T.A. ass, and I'll shoot a motherf—ing NUN at you if you don't listen to my thoughts on intelligent design. Oh, does it hurt when I send a little plastic representative of our Lord straight into your esophagus? Well, I have three more where that came from. I am FILLED with Christ's love. ($7, stupid.com)

Close Calls

If you had money on any of the NFL action last week (which of course we don't condone) you were probably getting ready to eat the barrel of a gun. Which tastes better with mustard, by the way.
Eight of the 13 games last week were decided by three points or less, only two shy of the league record of 10 (October 10-11, 1999). That is why, if you were wondering, betting lines are often three points. It's called a push, my friends.

Denver Defense

It is getting kind of silly now, isn't it? The Broncos have still only allowed one touchdown all season. They are ranked No. 1 in the NFL in points allowed per game (7.4)'and head to very bad Cleveland on Sunday. If Denver can keep the Browns out of the end zone, they will become the first team since the 1934 Detroit Lions to allow one or no touchdowns in the first six games of a season. It's a good thing also, since their offense sucks.

Running Strong

Quick quiz: Which NFL team has rushed for the most yards, and which team has given up the least, since 1992? The answers are the Atlanta Falcons (10,695) and the Pittsburgh Steelers (6,183). The two teams are playing each other this week so it will be interesting to see which group asserts there will. Atlanta better, since Michael Vick can't complete a pass.

Staying with the running game, in most fantasy leagues La Dainian Tomlinson was one of the top three picks (unless your league is full of idiots). He will have a heck of a time making his owners happy this week, because the Chargers are visiting the Chiefs, who have not allowed a 100-yard rusher in 17 straight home games. This is the longest active streak in the NFL, a mark Kansas City happens to share with the Chargers and the Pittsburgh. Tomlinson, by the way, has 29 100-yard rushing days in 84 career games.

Player to Watch

Arizona Cardinals wide receiver Anquan Boldin can make history this Sunday against the Raiders by catching just one pass. His next reception will be the 300th of his career, which would make him the fastest player to that milestone. Boldin has 299 catches through his first 46 games, and the record is through 54 games, established by Lionel Taylor from 1959-63.

And now to the picks.

Carolina Panthers (4-2) at Cincinnati Bengals (3-2) 1 p.m.

The Bengals looked flat and uninterested in giving the Tampa Bay Bucs their first win of the season last week. In fact, after scoring 85 points in their first three wins, the Bengals managed just 26 in losses to New England and the Buccaneers. They will need to do much better this week against a Panthers offense that is hitting its stride.
Since his return from injury, Steve Smith has 31 catches for 450 yards and two touchdowns, and Carolina has yet to lose. In comparison, Keyshawn Johnson has 32 catches for 419 yards and two touchdowns, and he has played in two more games.
Cincinnati will also be without left tackle Levi Jones, who will need arthroscopic surgery on his left knee. This will hurt Rudi Johnson big time, especially since they are already without starting center Rich Braham, who suffered a knee injury in Week Two.
Prediction: Carolina was the team many picked to go to the Super Bowl before the Bears became everyone's wet dream. Julius Peppers (eight sacks) and the defense will not allow the Bengals to keep up.

Arizona Cardinals (1-5) at Oakland Raiders (0-5) 4 p.m.

This is the Raiders’ Super Bowl. It is the only game that, when you look at their schedule, you might think, 'Oh, they could win this one.' If they don't win, you could be looking at 0-16. Which would be kind of awesome, because Raider fans will attack a mall like Night of the Living Dead.
What makes this game really worth watching though is the Cardinals. After suffering one of the worst collapses in NFL history Monday against the Bears, they get to come back on short rest against the worst team in the league. If they lose, Dennis Green might go into the pressroom with an uzi. Many were wondering why the Raiders passed on Matt Leinart in the draft, but if you’re Leinart, you were pretty much screwed either way.
Amazingly, the Raiders (statistically) have the best pass defense in the NFL, but teams also run against them more than any other (probably because they don't want to run up the score). So many story lines.
Prediction: Arizona. The Cardinal's defense forced six turnovers against the Bears; they should be able to force 16 against the Raiders. Are they actually airing this game on TV?

Minnesota Vikings (3-2) at Seattle Seahawks (4-1) 4 p.m.

Somehow, I don't think the return of Steve Hutchinson will garner the same attention as TO's return to Philly, but his absence has been felt just the same. Matt Hasselbeck has been sacked 17 times in five games after being sacked just 27 times last season. Hasselbeck has responded by trying to get rid of the ball quicker, which has resulted in seven interceptions. He had nine all of last season.
Despite that, however, the Seahawks are 4-1, even with Shaun Alexander not being available, who will miss a third straight game with a cracked bone in his foot.
The Vikings said before the season began that they were committed to the run, and they have kept their word. Chester Taylor has rushed for 421 yards, but has scored only one touchdown. The Seahawks defense ranks fifth in the league against the run, allowing only 75.6 yards per contest.
Prediction: I went against Seattle last week against the Rams. I won't make the same mistake twice. I am riding the ‘Hawks till they bite me.

New York Giants (3-2) at Dallas Cowboys (3-2) MNF

This is a big game in the NFC East between two teams that don't like each other very much. You would have thought that catching three touchdowns last week would have contented Terrell Owens, but now he is complaining that he doesn't get the ball early enough. It will never end, but TO looks like he has hit his stride. Now all Dallas has to do is keep Drew Bledsoe upright. The Giants defense sacked Michael Vick seven times last week, and when Bledsoe is pressured, he is useless.
Tiki Barber leads the league in rushing, but has yet to score a touchdown. It really is amazing: Eli Manning has thrown 11 already, and Brandon Jacobs has slammed two in from the goal line. The Giants are averaging 151 yards a game on the ground, tying them, ironically, with Dallas for fourth in the NFL. Both teams will be looking for the running game to open up there receivers downfield.
Prediction: Have the Giants finally reached consistency? I say yes and I am still not as sold as many others are on the quality of the Cowboys.

Life without a meal plan can cost a dude a lot of money. Last-minute pizza runs, ordering in from the greasy Chinese place, and 4am Denny's visits all add up. This starving writer has a couple of budget food tips for you to chew on. You might not want to let your bros catch you reading some gourmet recipe book, but take heed of these pointers and you'll be laughing when you've got more beer money at the end of the week.

Fill your belly at home:

If you take a few minutes to throw a frozen pizza in a microwave or boil up some pasta on the stove, you won't be quite as hungry when you hit the sports bar at night. Maybe instead of ordering the two-pound deluxe burger, you'll just have some wings with that first drink and have a few extra bucks at the end of the night.

Leave a little room in that micro-fridge:

Buying in bulk at grocery stores or a big-box store like Wal-Mart is cheaper in the long run. Yeah, you'll have to leave a rack of beers out of the fridge to make room for the eggs and milk, but you can always use an ice chest when it comes time to party (also known as 'sunset').

Save your brand loyalty for condoms:

Buying name-brand cereal, pasta sauce, or even toothpaste just means you're paying for a national distributor's expensive advertising campaigns. Instead, consider trying out the generic pasta sauce, or the 'Loops of Fruit' cereal in a bag. Many grocery stores offer comparable but less expensive products right next to the name-brands on the shelves. [Warning: when it comes to the 'Family Planning' aisle, stick to the top shelf. You don't want 'slightly imperfect' laytex being the only wall between you and parenthood.]

Get Your Recommended Nutrients:

Admit it; you're responsible for most of Japan's annual instant noodle production. It may be filling, but you know it isn't healthy on its own. What's in those 'instant flavor paks' anyway? Consider frying some fresh vegetables (you know, in the produce department) and dicing them into the noodles. Still cheap, much tastier and far more filling.

Go Local:

If you're lucky enough to live in a town like Davis, California, with its weekly Farmer's Market (http://www.davisfarmersmarket.org/), stop by to get fruits and veggies instead of buying one-way airfare for Chilean apples. You might just save enough for your own trip, instead.

Work the sales:

When you see basics on sale, stuff you know you'll have to get down the road like pasta or beer, go ahead and get extra. Careful, though. Eight gallons of milk probably won't fit in your fridge'though it might be a good excuse for getting your buddies to try the gallon challenge!

Speaking of shopping, if you're hungry, don't do it. Eat something first. Seriously. A kid in a candy store has nothing on a starving, credit card yielding student in a grocery store.

Now that you're inspired, here are a few uncreatively named sites to get you started:
http://cookcheap.com/
http://cheapcooking.com/
http://cheapfoodie.wordpress.com/
http://www.betterbudgeting.com/frugalrecipelist.htm

Photo courtesy of Ryan Pazdur.

Love makes anything possible. I pray this is true as I sit in front of my computer waiting for my love to instant message me'from across the globe'as she sits in a cubicle at her boring internship while I get ready for bed (there's a 12-hour time difference between us).

Her name is Zhong Hua or 'Nikita.' She's a 20-year-old senior at the Hong Kong University of Science and Technology. I met her at my school, the University of Maryland at College Park, when she was on an exchange program. She lived in the same building, but we were just friends until I saw her again in June after being accepted to a journalism program at the University of Hong Kong.

She won me over the first night we were reunited. She bought me dinner and gave me a t-shirt with my name decaled on it in English and Chinese. Then, she took me to the most romantic place in Hong Kong: the Avenue of Stars. Everything else is history.

I do not know when I will see her again outside of the fuzzy image of a webcam (which she has yet to purchase), but I'm holding my breath because I have not fallen out of love with her. I wish I could be certain that it will last until we somehow meet again. It helps to remember that distance is an inevitable part of any relationship: People leave, after all, sometimes forever, but love can be eternal. There is no heuristic that will make this work, no magical solution you can read in a self-help book. There is only unconditional love, a computer with Internet access and a phone card for international calls, along with the most important thing of all'hope.

But here are some tips for the stubborn lover:

Keep Consistent Contact: Staying in touch gets hard when you are living two separate lives, but it is necessary for a successful relationship. Set up a schedule to talk every day and send emails. This may seem tedious or force you to miss out on other things, but it is a sacrifice well worth the hassle.

Have a Plan in Mind: Instead of simply going with the flow and seeing how the relationship pans out, start thinking of an end to the long distance. Talk about when and where you will be together again and how you are going to make it work. After all, while long distance is ok for a determined amount of time, keeping it going forever is tortuous and pointless.

Plan Weekend Reunions (if possible): For those of you who are not separated by giant bodies of water (and many, many time zones), it is vital to find opportunities to be in the same place. This will remind you why you are putting so much work in, give you a chance to actually be with your lover, and really solidify what you have built. But, try to keep things even and switch off who is visiting whom. For those of you who aren't so fortunate, try and plan at least one big trip a year (or semester).

Don't Tempt Yourself: I am not saying don't go out with your friends and have a good time. But, be careful. It is really easy to stray from your boyfriend or girlfriend when they are not right there next to you. Keep your head on, remember how much you care for the other person and never do anything you wouldn't want your significant other to do.

And, most important of all:

Keep the faith'love is never easy!

The writer of article is a year out of college. Within that time he has gotten shot down from some really good jobs and landed some even better ones. He has an incredible job right now that he fully realizes he in no way deserves and can only attribute to his solid interviewing approach. Learn from the underachiever who overachieved. Here, he gives five tips for nailing the interview for your dream job.

Personality: No matter how ridiculous your resume is or how fit you are for the job, you can crash and burn in an interview because you didn't come off personable. It is natural for people to like and pull for people they like, so smile and be friendly. Also, show your excitement for the position; jobs are not stupid blond girls – they won't want you more if you act too cool for them.

Practice Practice Practice: The absolute best thing you can do in preparation for a big interview is to go on a few 'practice interviews' beforehand. You’ll find out that 90% of the material you say in one interview can be used in any. So, set up a few interviews for jobs you know you don't want; get comfortable in the interview atmosphere, learn what kind of answers people are looking for, and make sure your sweat stains aren't too obvious in your interview suit.

Wait for Your Pitch: Look at the interview like you’re at bat in a baseball game. Don’t swing for the fences every question; answer each question completely and concisely, but don’t ramble just to sound smarter. Often after a long line of questions that you’ve probably already talked entirely too much about, you come across a question that you feel is perfect for you – one that you can answer better than any other – but you've already used up your 'A' material. Instead, be patient at the plate, know that longer answers don't mean better answers, and forget that baseball is a crappy excuse for a sport.

Language: Instead of 'When do I get raises/promotions?' try “What can I expect from my development within the company?” It shows them that
1) You're in it for the long run and you're serious about growing with the company and
2) You are professional. It may not seem important, but the way you speak is a direct reflection of you as a person and your level of education. So, don't start off an interview with a 'Hollerrr!' and opt instead for a 'Thank you very much for meeting with me.'

Know Your “Weakness”: When asked about weaknesses, most say something like “I’m a workaholic” or “I take work too seriously.' Myeh. Talk about something you had trouble with but have overcome: “In college I struggled to maintain a balance between school assignments and work at my job and both suffered. I began keeping a notebook of all my day-to-day tasks. I improved greatly and I'm now an excellent multitasker.” Answer their question while still making yourself look good. If instead they ask what your strength is, say the same thing sans the beginning part about you being a retard and not multitasking like every other normal candidate.

Of course, you should follow every interview up with a thank you note and several nights of intense personal prayer. But, if you follow these steps, the prayer may not be necessary.