The Red Sox will win because:

Derek Jeter
Is this guy really that good looking? Perhaps I’m jealous, but I really think I’m being objective. ARod? Not a bad looking dude. Remember Paul O’Neill? He was handsome, in a rugged, alcoholic sense. But Jeter? If the guy wasn’t a baseball player and he was hanging out in some under-17 club in Weehawken, and not one girl in the bar would turn her head.

The Past
Yankee fans find it vital to point out past post-season success as often as possible, even if you are talking about the Lewis and Clark finding the Pacific. However, if anyone points out anything in the past that isn't positive about the Yankees, they argue that it happened in the past and doesn’t matter now. For example, Yankee fans can point out they beat the Mariners in the 2000 ALCS after they won 116 games, but if you bring up the Mariners beat the Yankees in the 1995 ALDs, that's in the past and doesn’t matter.

Yankees “buying” their championships.
Yankee fans will always bring up that Jeter, B Williams, Rivera, Cano and Posada are all home grown talent. They just hope nobody brings up Mussina, Johnson, Abreu, Sheffield, Giambi, ARod or Damon.

Alex Rodriguez
The single biggest reason the Red Sox will win. Useless in the clutch, has developed Check Knoblauchitis (meaning he can no longer throw to first) and constantly puts himself in deep holes with the media. Like for instance getting photographed in Central Park with his shirt off or telling reporters they can't catch the White Sox for the Wild Card. Is there anyone a Yankee fan would want up with the game on the line less the ARod? Maybe Yule Brenner.

Fair Weather Fans
Rooting for the Yankees is like rooting for Brad Pitt to get the girl or for Bill Gates to win the lotto. Nobody who was not born in 1 of the 5 New York boroughs or Northern New Jersey should be a Yankee fan. Anyone who is should be covered in brown sugar and locked in a shed with a wolverine.

The Yankees will win because:

Steven King
A huge Red Sox fan and the most successful horror book author of all time. If this man loves evil, or at least being a huge fan of it, then by association, the Red Sox are evil and will be thwarted. And don't even bring up Ben Affleck. He brought Jennifer Lopez to a playoff game. She is from the Bronx you silly bastard.

The Titanic Connection
On April 20, 1912 the Titanic sank, and it also happened to be the first opening day at Fenway Park. That is like being born on September 11. Karma man Karma.

The Letter B
And no we are not talking about Sesame Street. Babe, Bucky Dent, Buckner, Boone, Byung-Hyun – all cause Boston (another word starting with the letter “b”) to lose. Maybe it will be Bernie's turn this time around? Or Bobby?

The Word Yankee
In the Civil War the Southerners terms for Northerners was Yankees, and the Yanks defeated the Confederates thus ending slavery. In WWII all of Europe called Americans “Yankees” or “Yanks” for short, and who won that war? From military.com, 'in the early part of 1942, before American uniforms became a familiar sight, and asked, “Excuse me, are you a Yankee?'

John Kerry
And I quote from the last campaign. “If I had to choose between the Red Sox winning or winning the presidency, I’d have to choose the presidency.” You chose poorly there John, and not only did you reveal yourself as a non die hard Sox fan, but you lost to the most hated president in US history.

1. You're punk rock'support your cause.
I completely dig what Take Action, Planned Parenthood, the Surfrider Foundation, PETA and the numerous other political causes on the tour are doing. But not only are these 'safe' political choices, given the crowd, but they were also difficult to find on the concert grounds. Give 'em ample space, and allow a wider variety of groups to represent their views'I'm sure the Christian punk crowd has a few ideas that would stir up the average Warped fan.

2. The 104 bands may have been too much to handle.
Thanks to smaller-than-expected attendance, some of these groups were playing to as little as eight people. And with that much quantity, the quality definitely suffered. To that band on the Smartpunk stage playing the un-ironic cover of an Eddie Money song ' please die. Now.

3. Some diversity would be nice '
Whether it was the under-representation of big-time indie labels (where was Victory?), the sameness of sound (ska is back, metalcore is bigger than ever ' Warped didn't notice), the segregation of female-fronted bands to one stage or just a general disinterest of branching out, the bands on this year's tour sounded all too alike. We need a wild card: in the past decade, everyone from Kid Rock to Eminem to Jurassic 5 has hit the Warped stage. How about drafting a New York hipster band like Interpol?

4. Been on the tour every year? Take a break.
I love you, Less Than Jake. And NoFX. But I also loved you in 1997, 1998, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002 ' it's time to move on, at least temporarily. At the very least, force veteran bands to take at least one, if not two, years off from the tour.

5. Go regional
Local causes, bands and merchants need love, too. Sure, New York represented this time out, but that was more due to the creative force of the city than a concerted effort. Let the kids know it's THEIR tour when it hits THEIR city.

6. Get a big band to 'curate' a stage.
The All Tomorrow's Party in England gives a veteran creative type (Sonic Youth, Matt Groening) full creative control over its stages for a weekend. That's a bit excessive, but what's wrong with, say, offering an eclectic, popular group like AFI their own side-stage?

7. Use technology. The kids already do.
Apparently, you could get band updates and schedules from Cingular if you signed up on the Warped Tour website. I tried, but it didn't work. Is there really any problem, in this day and age, with being able to send text and schedule updates via cell phone, 24 hours in advance? Speaking of which '

8. Get rid of the surprise scheduling.
Every year, bands find out their daily set times just before that day's show, thereby depriving them and the kids any sense of when they're playing. There are no printed schedules, either, unless you're media. Would it kill anyone to get this done 24 hours ahead of time? Seriously'add a buck to the ticket price and give every concert goer a printed-out schedule when they arrive.

9. If a band has a hit record, it might be nice to see them.
AFI, All-American Rejects, Angels and Airwaves, Atreyu, Avenged Sevenfold, Brand New, Dashboard Confessional, Emery, Dropkick Murphys, Flogging Molly, From First to Last, New Found Glory, Rancid, Sugarcult, Taking Back Sunday, Underoath ' what do these popular (or increasingly popular) bands have in common? They either 1. skipped this year's Warped Tour, 2. played Ozzfest instead or 3. left the tour early. I know it takes almost a year to book bands, but there HAS to be a way to get somebody hot on the bill now. 'Last year, it was different,' admits Against Me!'s Tom Gabel. 'You had My Chemical Romance and Fall Out Boy, at their commercial peaks, on the whole tour. That was kind of lucky.' Maybe luck shouldn't be a part of it.

10. A few quick fixes '
Get a tour website that actually tells me something about the bands playing and how to get to the venues ' make more bands available for post-show interviews ' if you're going to put a show in Uniondale, NY, try to work with the city's transportation system (most of us got lost) ' try to place bands further apart on the grounds so the sound doesn't overlap. This is a way booking bands may help. ' have a tent where kids can cool off from the 120-degree weather ' get better bathrooms for the bands (so says Motion City Soundtrack and Against Me) ' the addition of Joan Jett this year was great (no fixin’ needed with her). Represent your elders and the kids ' and, for the most part, keep tweaking your model. The Warped Tour is one of the most important (and best) shows of the year. But there's always room for change.

When I woke up this morning and saw JonBenet Ramsey on the cover of the newspaper, I was confused. After all, JonBenet's murder, which was unsolved, happened 10 years ago and had long ago left my mind. Why were they bringing it back up? What could possibly have warranted opening this decade-old investigation?

It’s because authorities had a suspect in custody. For those of you who aren't familiar with the case or were too young when it happened to really understand it, the story of JonBenet Ramsey was gruesome, shocking and rocked the country. Ramsey was six years old at the time of her murder. She was a child beauty queen born to wealthy parents. The Ramsey's had a picture-perfect life until Dec. 25, 1996, when Patsy Ramsey, JonBenet's mother, found that her daughter had gone missing. Ramsey also found a ransom note asking for $118,000 for her safe return. The media immediately jumped on the family as the main suspects in the case. In fact, until this morning, many still believed that her parents were her murderers.

But after 10 years, Mr. Ramsey (Mrs. Ramsey died of cancer in June) may finally have the chance to wake up from the nightmare. John Mark Karr, an American teacher, was arrested yesterday in Bangkok, Thailand, in connection with the murder of JonBenet Ramsey.

The Facts
Prior to being questioned about the Ramsey case, Karr was being investigated by police for his involvement in a case in which Americans traveled to Asian countries to engage in pedophilic activities. However, a tip from a University of Colorado professor led police to arrest Karr for the murder, kidnapping and sexual assault of JonBenet Ramsey. Karr showed no signs of struggle when he was arrested in his Bangkok hotel. When questioned, he admitted to kidnapping Ramsey but claimed her death was 'an accident.' Karr went on to say that he was with her the night she died and that he was deeply sorry for what happened. He claimed that he loved her.

John Karr has now been expelled from Thailand and will be back in the U.S. within the next few days.

The Questions
At first glance, this case seems pretty airtight: a blessing for the Ramsey family. But the case is far from over. There are still many questions that have been left unanswered. For example, upon his arrest, Karr stated: 'I was with JonBenet when she died.' What does that mean, exactly? That he was present when somebody else murdered the girl? He didn't actually say that he killed her.

I also wonder why Karr, who put up no fight with the police upon his arrest, confessed now. Ten years have gone by. If he was so eager to get this off his chest why did he run from police, hide in Thailand and wait this long to say something? It doesn’t seem to be something he is ashamed of, so that fact really doesn’t match up.

Also, is our intense desire to find Ramsey’s murderer clouding our judgment? Are we allowing ourselves to jump to conclusions too quickly because we want to see an end to this horrifying tale? According to an American official (who refused to be named when talking to The New York Times), it is very common for people to falsely claim they committed a crime, especially high-profile cases like this one. It is hard to understand why someone would do that, or how, considering how much Karr seems to know about the case. But, according to his wife, in the years following the Ramsey murder Karr was obsessed with the case. He devoted hours to researching the facts, contacting people involved, and following every last update to the story. Due to the magnitude of the murder the scandal that surrounded it, information regarding the case saturated the media. There was very little information that wasn't displayed for the public. Everyone had access to the facts, especially those like Karr who were rigorously looking for it.

In addition, police have yet to find a real connection between Karr and the Ramsey family. They both lived in Atlanta at one point, but there is no proof that Karr ever interacted with the Ramsey's or met JonBenet. And what about his alibi? Karr's wife at the time of murder claims that Karr was with her in Alabama on Dec. 25, 1996. One may think that she is lying to protect her ex-husband, but they have since been divorced due to his arrest for possessing child pornography. Why would she protect him now?

Finally, there is the fact that the police haven't provided any proof (beyond his admission) that Karr murdered JonBenet. They have yet to match his handwriting to that of the ransom note, check his DNA against that found at the scene, or get the details of what happened in the basement of the Ramsey house on December 24, 1996. Once they bring Karr back to the U.S. and actually start investigating the case, we may come to find out that such evidence doesn’t exist or match up. This arrest, which so many people are counting on, could end up leading nowhere.

Resolution?
Even though the investigation into John Karr is far from over, the fact that a convicted sex offender has been taken off the streets is worth celebrating. Pedophilia is a disgusting sickness, and one that we must work harder to stop. The story of JonBenet Ramsey is a sad one, but unfortunately it is not the only one. Innocent children are being assaulted every day. And they cannot protect themselves (nor can their parents, in many cases). I, like most people, hope that police do find Ramsey's murderer. But even more, I hope they find a way of closing the doors to this sick underground world of pedophiles, and help protect the millions of other potential victims out there.

If another Saturday night rolls around and you are sitting home alone watching yet another episode of Jackass, you may actually start to wonder, 'Hey, have I been single for too long?' You know all your boys are out with their girlfriends ' it's 'date night' and you simply don't have a girl! Hey ' there's nothing wrong with being single, but is it beyond embarrassing that everyone thinks the couch is your best friend?

It's been a tad too long when …

You, first and foremost, find something wrong with all the women who come into your life. If Lauren's hair is too blonde and Kristin doesn't talk enough, it's no wonder you've been flying solo for quite a while. There are plenty of hotties out there; all of that criticism is really unwarranted.

Did you just strangely snort at Nicole's joke? Here's another tell-tale sign: acting awkward around the opposite sex. If there doesn't seem to be anything other than sports and beer in your life, this probably has contributed to your awkwardness around the females. It may be time to throw yourself into the hooking-up scene.

If you have an obsession with Jenna Jameson, this also means the time has come for one of those blind dates with your fraternity brother's cute cousin. Addictions to porn are flashing red lights: being single has taken you to an unhealthy level.

Finally, if those around you start to question which 'team' you play for, you need to get a girl and FAST!

Let's face it ' being single can be awesome, but after a while, it's good to have a bit of intimacy in your life.

You get your first glimpse of perfectly tousled hair on the way to the bar. His stylish duds keep your attention as he slides up beside you.

'Great DJ,' you muster, and he flashes you a dimpled grin.

Uh-oh. Not again. If only you'd checked his socks before you were face-to-face. Here are some tips for solving one of modern women's most annoying dilemmas ' Is he gay, or just perfect?

Is he American?

A foreign accent is often accompanied by details most straight American men avoid. Fitted clothes, heavy cologne and crossed legs don't mean anything if he's clutching his passport.

Is he too perfect?

If nothing's out of order, he's extremely vain or gay, or both. Check the fingernails, body hair (or lack thereof), belt and collar. Grooming is great, but if he spends more time on his appearance than you, raise one pink flag.

Where does he touch you?

On the lower back as you head to dance? Good sign. But if he grabs your arm to check the time, keep guessing.

Where are you?
Sports bar? Unless he's dragged by his gaggle of girlfriends, you're probably in the clear. Gay bar? Good sign. If he spends more than two seconds on you, you might have met your match. Disco? That's a toughie. Keep talking.

What's his favorite show?

Mention Sex and the City, and almost any straight guy's eyes will glaze over. If he's jealous of your Madonna tix, then see how he reacts to Kenny Chesney. If he knows more about Renee than the music, then ask about his dog.

Does he have a poodle?

Small, designer dogs are a stereotype for a reason. A mutt from the pound or a big Lab from his grandpa is a better sign than a hyper little fur ball.

What's he drinking?

Beer is fine. Anything diet or pink is suspect. Same for wine at a club. If he offers to buy you a drink, even better.

Get creative.

Time to use those skills. Get him talking about his ex. Genderless pronouns are another pink flag.

Ask him.
What he's doing later. If you don't mind liaising for drinks, see if he takes the bait. If he's 'tired' or busy, don't bother.

Kiss him.

Just a peck should do. If he asks for your number, it better be for a date!

It's Sunday afternoon and you are just typing away on your Dell laptop, finishing up a paper that is due on Monday, when, all of a sudden, the battery spontaneously combusts.

Fires can happen anywhere, and since college students are usually high or drunk, dorms are a common locale. Especially, because there are literally hundreds of ways to spark a good ole conflagration (look that one up, kids). Try these 15 ways, for instance:

1.Match-flicking
2.Overlooked embers of burning marijuana
3.Lit candles forgotten
4.The SAE cement lion, the icon of Sig Alph, miraculously catching fire to welcome in another keg party.
5.Cars catching fire, because oil hasn't been put in them in months.
6.Exploding car batteries
7.Ill-tempered gas grills behind the fraternity house
8.Bonfires
9.Stray fireworks and bottle rockets.
10.Throwing a firecracker down the trash chute.
11.Cigarettes and couches
12.Lighting cigarettes on the stove (not that any of us ever did that).
13.Candles and sex. Sort of Body of Evidence style.
14.Too many electronics in one power outlet (like by this editor’s desk).
15.Microwave mishaps (leaving things in far too long … like putting popcorn in for 30 minutes instead of three).

Furthermore, winning a championship is always a good reason to start a fire, and so is losing a championship game, for that matter. Nothing says “school spirit” like chucking a Molotov cocktail to a police cruiser.

If you are having trouble getting a v-carded girl to sleep with you, start a rumor that the school is going to start burning virgins at the stake. That will loosen her up quickly.

Want to take out the honors dorm across the quad? Construct a catapult and fire large flaming rocks at it. Works every time.

I remember one time I had this pesky mouse in my dorm that avoided capture for months. Finally, on a chilly fall Saturday, I was able to lure it into a shoebox with a nice piece of aged Brie (mice love Brie; it's just a fact).

On that fateful day, I just so happened to be burning leaves in a pile after raking them, a chore I had to do because I was on probation for starting the Franco Prussian War.

So I put two and two together and tossed the rodent onto the pile of burning leaves. Unfortunately, the mouse, now on fire, ran back into the house underneath a window setting the whole house on fire. That rat bastard.

Boy was my face red.

Blind dates can be fun as long as you don't think about the following: (a) how pathetic it is that you couldn't find someone on your own, (b) about how the only way someone would be willing to go out with you is because they've never met you before or (c) about how you’re almost 20 and still don't know the gentle touch of a woman. My mom has set me up on quite a few of these blind dates, and sometimes it's weird trying to find things to talk about. Let me help.

The Quiet Game: Following introductions, you'll sit down and not speak. After an intense awkward silence, your date will finally begin to say something. Before she can finish her sentence, blurt out 'You lose!' and punch her hard in the arm (the arm punch being the main rule in playing “the Quiet Game.”).

Religion:If you make it past the arm punch, I suggest bringing up Jesus. You don't have to force the topic, just be like, 'Hey, you know Jesus?' She'll say, '… Yeah.' You'll say, 'Yeah, he's pretty cool.' You'll sit quietly again for a second and then blurt out, 'I'm no homo, but I love that guy.' Then more silence.

Politics:Try telling her about how sweet George W. Bush is. Tell her about how you dislike terrorists or anyone else from a Middle Eastern country. The war on Iraq? 'An atrocity,' you'll say. 'We should be warring on EVERY country that's not the U.S. of A. … for example, Asia.' Every time she tries to talk during this conversation, interrupt her by yelling that you love Texas.

Scooby-Doo: This may sound like a difficult topic to broach, but it's not. Just start humming the theme song to the show, and if that doesn't work, start singing the words. They start out: 'Scooby-Dooby-Doo, where are you?' Try to include her by asking her who her favorite Scooby-Doo character is. If she suggests anyone besides Scrappy-Doo or Fred, adamantly argue that they were never on the show. Around now your food may arrive, so exclaim, 'Jinkies!'

Miscellaneous: This section of the date is all yours, but may I make one proposal? Ask her how many cavities she thinks you have. If she says anything above two, it's time for you to lose your cool. Open your mouth very close to her face and say, 'Does it look like I have that many cavities?!' When you've cooled off a little she may ask you how many cavities you think she has. Guess nine.

At the end of the date the most important thing is to be honest, none of that 'left my wallet at home' bulls't. Just be upfront and say, 'I don't have any money.' Say it matter-of-factly. Then move in for a kiss, and if you get rejected, flip over the table and storm out. But don't leave the premises; you still need a ride home.

You may have made the necessary 28 trips to Bed Bath and Beyond, but there is a good chance you are still missing some of the most important college items. Sorry, buddy, but just because your mom knows bedding doesn't mean she really understands college life (and trust me, you don't want her to). Instead of trusting na've and uneducated (in the ways of drinking, partying and surviving dorm life) adults to get you ready for the big move, CO-ED asked the people who know best'the students'what you must have as you pack up the car and settle into that sweet new lofted bed.

' Any food you can cook in a microwave'you’d be surprised what your options are if you get a little creative.
' Definitely bring a George Foreman, regardless of the fact that it's typically listed on the “contraband” items part of your pre-move in the brochure.
' Lots of random things (especially the ones your mom tells you to throw away when packing up your room at home) that can be used as ammo for a creative frat party costume: think weird hats, spandex, coconut bras … you know, the essentials.
' This is stupid but true. … an open mind.
' Lots of pictures, picture frames, pillows'anything to make your room more homey.
' An alarm clock
' Slippers
' A laptop (so you can bring it to the library when you can't work in your room, or to play poker during a lecture).
' An iPod
' A calendar
' A cell phone
' A planner'for assignments and party scheduling
' A scale (good to watch out for that Freshman 15)
' Shower caddy and flip-flops

' Crazy costumes
' A fake ID
' A tool kit
' A futon (you never know when you want to have a 'guest' over.)
' Soft sheets
' Extra towels
' A sewing kit
' Condoms
' A zip-up hoodie
' More condoms
' Ear plugs
' Air freshener
' A pop-up laundry bag
' Yaffa blocks
' An easy-going attitude
' A good sense of humor
' A good appetite … good enough to eat the nasty dorm food
' A friend with a car
' Friends with cute friends for you to date
' A mini-fridge to keep all your drinks cold
' A feather bed to make those awful twin, extra-long beds somewhat comfortable
' A microwave for drunken Macs and Cheese and s’mores
' Sweatpants
' Tupperware for clothes'not everything will fit in the closet

' Toilet-wipes, if you have a roommate who doesn’t wear pads and leaves blood all over the bathroom floor and WALLS.
' I filled up a Sobe bottle with 5 o’clock. I don't recommend using 5 o'clock.
' Elastic waist-pants for when you start getting fat
' A taste for beer
' Lots of movies
' Advil

Football taking over baseball as the national pastime in the United States can be directly attributed to gambling and fantasy.

Seriously, is there any reason to watch a game your favorite team is not playing in unless you have a couple of C-Notes on it? I thought not.

But where did fantasy football come from? What unheralded genius is responsible for making every Sunday afternoon from September to January a national holiday?

His name is Wilfred Winkenbach.

Winkenbach, an Oakland area businessman and limited partner in the Oakland Raiders, along with Raiders Public Relations manager Bill Tunnel and reporter Scotty Starling developed the rules that eventually became modern fantasy football in the Milford Plaza Hotel during a 1962 team trip to New York City.

When he returned to Oakland, Winkenbach organized the inaugural eight-team league called the GOPPPL (Greater Oakland Professional Pigskin Procrastinators League), which consisted of those who were either an administrative affiliate of the AFL, a pro football journalist or someone who had purchased or sold 10 season tickets for the Raiders’ 1963 season.

Why just those people? Well, as it says in the original rules, the purpose of the league was “to bring together some of Oakland’s finest Saturday morning gridiron forecasters to pit their respective brains (and cash) against each other” in the hope that it would lead to “closer coverage of daily happenings in professional football.”

In the first ever fantasy draft, teams were able to draft 20 players: four offensive ends, four halfbacks, two fullbacks, two quarterbacks, two kick/punt returners, two field goal kickers, two defensive backs/linebackers and two defensive linemen.

And who was the first ever No. 1 pick? George Blanda, who was picked as a quarterback for one team and place kicker for another, because in the 60s, players often had multiple positions.

One of the main differences between fantasy football then and now is the payoffs. Today you have to win the entire league to win cash; back then money was awarded after every score.

The GOPPL original payoff method went like this:

*50 cents for a rushing touchdown by any player
*25 cents for any player receiving a pass for a touchdown
*25 cents for any player throwing a touchdown pass
*Double the above for any score from more than 75 yards out
*25 cents for each field goal
*$2.50 for a kickoff or punt return for a touchdown
*$2.50 for a touchdown by a defensive back or linebacker on a pass interception
*$5.00 for a touchdown by a defensive lineman

Five bucks back then could have probably bought you a car, so that is a pretty good hall for a defensive touchdown.

Something this great couldn't stay among only eight people forever, and Oakland restaurateur, Andy Mousalimas, made sure of that when he brought the idea public through his Kings X Sports Bar in 1969. He is also responsible for the current practice of performance scoring, which rewards points to players who score touchdowns and gain yards.

Today, Kings X is still a bastion of fantasy football maintaining six different real divisions, including the Queens division'a division especially reserved for female patrons.

Of course with the advent of the internet, fantasy football has blossomed into a million-dollar industry reaching 30 million online players (including 6.5 million women) in the U.S. It's amazing how little people have to do today, isn't it?

1. Study abroad.
2. Hanging your shirts in a steamy shower is far superior to ironing.
3. Always study at least two days before a test.
4. You're going to regret that personal expense loan.
5. Graduating with too much credit-card debt can be fixed. Missing out on good times, because you didn't want debt can't be.
6. Check out Ratemyprofessor.com
7. The more social circles you're in, the more outlets you will have. This Bud's for you, Mr. Frat/Rugby/SGA/Chess Club Player.
8. Missing a single party will never matter the following semester.
9. Being good friends almost never means being good roommates.
10. Shirts and pants: recyclable. Socks and underwear: not.
11. If you're going to throw unwashed clothes back into the cycle, hang ‘em up and let ‘em air out. Do not throw them on the floor.
12. Politely contest every final grade you get.
13. Nothing cures break-up despair like a freshman.
14. Generally, 60 percent of your grade will come from work during the last 10 percent of the semester; step it up.
15. The chances of you marrying that sorority girl/frat guy are the same as your high school crush.
16. Don't leave college without an internship or two.
17. Study abroad again.
18. There is nothing a drunk person won't do at a party when his/her name is being chanted.
19. Skinny-dipping is to high school, as streaking is to college.
20. On spring break, go all out, or not at all. (Yes, Bermuda; no, Panama City)
21. Everyone knows why that lotion is in your room.
22. 15 percent of your DVD collection will mysteriously vanish every year. You will never know why.
23. That's the first time you've grown facial hair isn't it?
24. Having a picture posted on Collegehumor.com is like a mini-tribute to your college-ness.
25. There is no reason why you shouldn't be able to get a 2.5 and still party like an animal. There is no reason why you should get a 2.0 and still be in school.
26. Mind the step-children.
27. A disco ball and a Jim Belushi can make any room
28. Hooking up with that person's significant other will bite you in the ass ' but it'll be so worth it.
29. The creation of the bar-tab concept is pure genius.
30. It is scientifically proven that a criminal justice major is the most useless thing you'll come across.
31. Go to Modifiedliving.com.
32. Never underestimate the vulnerability of freshmen the first week of school
33. … and never pass up a chance to take advantage of it.
34. You know those nutrition shakes old people drink? Hangover miracle worker.
35. She wasn't that good looking last night, either.
36. Your varsity jacket stays home.

37. Wearing a hat or shirt from the college you didn't get into your freshman year makes you look like a tool.
38. If (god forbid) you have a high school ring, lock it up far, far away.
39. The first few weeks of school, everyone will be incredibly open and friendly. After that, everyone will go back to treating you like crap.
40. Nobody cares exactly what or how much you drank last night.
41. Neither what you take, nor how much you take of it, your hangover will still suck.
42. Don't drink the punch.
43. No matter how big and tough you were in high school, there will always be a fraternity to remind you they don't care.
44. Friends from college won't think your friends from home are half as cool as you do. Nor will they get along.
45. Blink 182 is the ultimate pre-game music, Ludacris is the typical party music and “shut the eff up” is the perfect morning-after music.
46. Your schools basketball/football games supersede all forms of religion.

47. The threesome will be the apex of your college tenure.
48. No matter how good the party scene is it'll get old … but playing beer-pong in your room with your buddies is timeless.
49. Maybe dating that sorority girl wasn't such a good idea.
50. Remember how you blinked and high school was over? Same thing with college, only you have nothing to look forward to after it. Enjoy it while it lasts.
51. 'I was already in here. I just left to make a phone call,' will get you past Mongo the Juiced-Up Door Guy at most parties without paying.
52. Observe the equal girl-to-guy ratio when walking into a party.
53. The kids that have the most fun freshman year mysteriously never return.
54. For every person you didn't like in high school, there will be three more of them in college.
55. There’s nothing worse than hearing about what you did after a blackout.
56. Natty Light = Liquid Gold
57. Ramen is to be eaten, not wrestled in.
58. “The Freshman 15″ is more of a minimum than a standard. Get them early.